Espionage for dummies
Sidin Vadukut -
Thursday, April 10, 2008 12:31 PM
Today we will depart a little from our usual agenda, unproductive timepass in the office, and instead look at how to keep a tab on all those pesky co-workers you have sitting around you making your life fairly painful.
Now let's, first of all, face a few facts. Coworkers, even if some of them are harmless, ultimately are a threat to our career development in our workplace. They may look all nice and sweet and helpful, but never forget that one day, as you move up that ever-narrowing org. structure, they will compete with you for the same position. But by then it maybe too late to manage things through blackmail and character assasination.
So start early.
One thing you must do in order to maintain this continuous supervision is to know what they are talking about behind your back. Perhaps they maybe discussing office gossip. Sometime it may involve you. Or maybe they are sucking up to the boss in the office. There is only one way to find out, electronic espionage.
And you don't need to be a genius to do it. Let me give you a simple method:
1. Obtain a cellphone that has an auto answer-feature. As in it will automatically pick up after three rings or so. Nokia has a few models.
2. Place the phone on complete silence. No lights, music or even vibration. This is critical.
3. Place said phone in the proximity of the subject of your surveillance. On their desk, near their cubicle, behind their computer. Somewhere like that. Not too far away. Not too conspicuous.
4. Now when you are away from the office, all you need to do is dial in to this phone from your mobile or landline. It will quietly ring thrice and then pick up your call.
5. Now, without a soul in the world knowing, you can check up on what your colleague is doing. The phone will pick up everything that is being spoken around it and transmit it clearly to you. Now you know what's really happening when that other deputy features editor is staying back late in the office.
Manipulate this information ruthlessly and voila! Career growth! Success! Fame!
Manage to get one of your spy phones into the HR department and you've hit the big leagues.
Best of luck. And, by the way, I absolve all legal responsibility for what may occur.