Can the Indian-American immigrant come home? - The Expat Blog

Can the Indian-American immigrant come home?

Melissa A. Bell - Thursday, July 09, 2009 3:40 AM
A couple posts back, Pankaj, a reader on here, commented that people in the West often have certain beliefs about India and aren’t really interested in finding out the truth about the place.

For some reason, it made me think of my friend Prashant. Not because my friend is uninterested in India--it's quite the opposite with him. Born to Indian parents in Illinois, Prashant is newlywed, even newly-er pregnant and he very much wants to move to India.

This is nothing new to me since everyone these days wants to move there. But his reason for the move was.

We were talking about Prashant’s future fatherhood and he had one concern I hadn’t thought of: he’s worried his children will lose their connection to India. He’s already American. Now, they’ll be Americans born of American parents. And his wife is Irish Catholic, so that’s already one-half removed from India. The divide he straddles and that his parents straddle even more (“the best of both worlds”) will disappear.

I never really considered this as a possible reason why so many NRIs are eager to come back to ‘try-on’ India. But unlike so many of us mutts in the US, they are in the very generation undergoing the great American assimilation. Prashant says it happened to the Italians, the Irish, the Poles all before him. Now, it’s happening to Indians. And Prashant, for one doesn't like it.

It’s evident in the culture: we’ve moved from Apu in Kwik-e-Mart to Kal Penn in the White House in 20 years. And it’s evident in the lifestyles of the generation born to the Indians that moved over here in the 1970s to find a new life. Prashant had a fro, listened to jam-bands, was one of the most popular kids on his college campus—especially with the girls. He was not really big on the culture of his parents until now that he’s facing parenthood himself.

Assimilation is a mostly sad, sometimes good fact about the US. We do maintain some semblance of uniqueness, but a lot of that ancestral identity doesn’t go much beyond the “I’m Irish, hence I must drink lots and lots of Guinness on St. Patrick’s Day.”

Immigrants notoriously cling to their national identities, but after the first and second-generation passes, well, they don’t call it a melting pot for nothing.

Indian immigrants of this generation are also in a rather unusual position because they do have the option of returning home. For many American immigrants, returning to their homeland wasn’t an option. The countries were poor, war-torn or it took too many generations to move from laborers to college-educated. Prashant’s generation doesn’t have that. His parents came over with $7, but they were trained physicians. Now they can send him back to a prosperous country with a medical degree and plenty more than just $7.

So Prashant is faced with a choice: keep up the close-knit ties to his parent’s country as long as he can or stay in the US and face the slow fade of his idyllic India in his family’s collective memory.

Thinking about all this assimilation and migration got me off on a tangent. How do you really know a place? Do you have to be born there? Live there? Visit often? What is it to know a place?

I’m also thinking I’m thinking too much. Long car rides will do that to a person.

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From Adam

July 9, 2009 5:51 AM
??????? What exactly is the thought? Your post seem like a piece of abstract art - for the viewer to figure out the thought amidst all the rubble! haha!

From Aparna Kalra

July 9, 2009 12:17 PM
Bell, Knowing a place can be/could be loving it so much you remember only the good part. Will Prashant be able to adjust to the smells, the heat, the traffic, the "everything goes" attitude of this place and still feel its joie de vivre (exhuberant enjoyment of life)? Got to be a braveheart like you to be able to do that.

From aditya

July 9, 2009 12:51 PM
@ the bell: 'I’m also thinking I’m thinking too much. Long car rides will do that to a person.' that is an interesting finish to the whole post... (i have different variations on it, but more or less, on the same theme...!). well written piece, abstract or otherwise.

From aditya

July 9, 2009 1:01 PM
@ bell is it Abu or Apu at the Kwik-e mart? i thought he was south Indian... i gotta check this one out!

From aditya

July 9, 2009 1:07 PM
i always wonder why our identities are so important to us... part of what appeals to me in the US is the lack of it... doesn't who we are (or think we should be) hold us back as well? a lot of what we consider 'culture' and 'tradition'is actually just old habits calcified and fossilised over generations which give us a false sense of security and a sense of 'belongíng'... how about being marvelously adrift and enjoy being just 'yourself'? just a thought... our world still hasn't got past the classification and labeling of ourselves... i too am thinking too much... and sounding like a nihilist today!

From Art Can the Indian-American immigrant come home? | India Handicrafts & Arts

July 9, 2009 1:52 PM

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From Melissa A. Bell

July 9, 2009 9:55 PM
@Adam, I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks! What can I say? I was in a 12-hour car ride. Sometimes I tend to ramble...

@Aparna, you definitely have something there. I think this is why so many NRIs do not wind up in India long term. Not that they're not brave, just their idea of India is this idyllic memory of their childhood, visiting Nani's home. And when they get there, they can't handle that it has problems, just like every other place on the planet.

@Aditya, Ack! I am so bad at my Simpson's trivia. Thanks. And the adrift part is good to a certain extent, but there is a total beauty to cultural and social traditions. Even if they can be suffocating, they can also be strengthening.

From aditya

July 9, 2009 11:14 PM
@ Melissa 'strengthening' as in when someone tries to strangulate you, they are actually helping you build up stronger neck muscles?

From aditya

July 9, 2009 11:31 PM
@ melissa as in Homer Simpson strangulating Bart Simpson... why you little...! (Marge, i am just strengthening the boy's neck).

From Carl

July 10, 2009 10:31 PM
Speaking of tangents, here's one: wherever you are, another place calls. We travel and move to see the world and ourselves as new, fresh. But that only lasts so long. When Tobias Schneebaum left the world and walked into the Amazon to find the Akarama, who he was told would kill him, he found just what he was looking for: "...we were jumping up and down and my arms went around body after body and I felt myself getting hysterical, wildly ecstatic with love for all humanity, and I returned slaps on backs and bites on hard flesh, and small as they were, I twirled some round like children and wept away the world of my past." But here's the thing: even Schneebaum fled the Akarama a year later, back to New York. Even Thesiger left his beloved Arabia for London.

From Sum

July 11, 2009 10:50 AM
IMHO, Identity actually forms when one wants to settle down, be part of a community and contribute towards it. We reside in Gurgaon - a part of India but a place built by real estate barons and MNCs by buying land from the locals. Gurgaon today has no identity to talk about. Weak efforts by some well-wishers to create something (iamgurgaon.com) are just that - weak. Do we imbibe the local culture - many of us do not want to. Do we create a new identity which all of us and future generations would benefit by calling their own. Oh well, who cares ? To whom is identity important ? From your article, it appears as if you and your friend are treating it like a qualification. A shallow goal like this can only be treated superficially - hoping that relocating will take care of the problem. The need has to be stronger to create an identity.

From adityabee

July 11, 2009 12:47 PM
yes... if you want to be really a Gurgaonwala (not a Gurgaonite), you would have to perforce live a Gujjar lifestyle and sleep on charpoys, smoke hookahs and milk your cows (after you have taken them to forage). maybe not quite what the techies want to go i guess!

From Pankaj

July 14, 2009 5:34 PM
I think it's just the feeling of attachment with a place more than anything else. Some people feel attached to the place they were born in; some are emotionally attached to certain places due to various reasons, maybe where they grew up, spent their childhood, studied etc. Like I was born in Punjab, but I feel attached to Delhi because I studied there. I don't feel attached to Mumbai for no reason... It's the emotional attachment that might not have any obvious reason at all...

From Tom

July 18, 2009 9:51 PM
Maybe the charm of india and china emerging as a new world could be behind a lot of people coming back to india. Having said that it is not only Indians but a lot of expats who come to india and fall in love with the place just like a lot of indians who fall in love with a place when they go abroad and decide to settle down there. There are a lot of places that are really beautiful...inspite of the traffic snarls, 'the smell' and all the other things that are wrong with india.

From Indian Handicrafts » Can the Indian-American immigrant come home?

July 28, 2009 9:38 PM

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From Andhrabhoja

August 16, 2009 11:38 PM
Hah...Aditya dont patronize the blog writer too much...you sound like a slave..."yes madam whatever you say very so wandraful"

From srikumar

October 10, 2009 5:52 PM
I think whoever said life/time is a big leveller, didn't know about internet :-) . Read your previous blog on india and why you chose to stay here. Well, explode is whats happening in india and in the process, what you see as endearing and ancient and whatever we've cherished so long is also losing its shine pretty fast. There might not be much of a difference if prashant lives here or in US of A. my 2 cents.

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