Day 30: Why no self-respecting film buff should fly Air Canada--a rant
Priya Ramani -
Wednesday, May 14, 2008 1:01 AM
Alitalia used to be the worst airline in my books until this experience.
When we got on AC34 for a 14+ hour flight from Sydney to Vancouver, our first long-haul air journey on this round-the-world trip, I was prepared for the on-board movie system to be a couple of notches below my favourite system on Singapore Airlines. At first glance, the system seemed hoplessly outdated...there was no sign of video on demand. It took me 20 minutes to figure out the tables...on Eastward flights, on Westward flights, not to South America, only from Australia...when I finally figured it out, The Firm seemed to be one of the few movies they were likely to be playing on this flight. The Canadians believe it's a classic. It's not even a Top Gun for heaven's sakes.
Then a gent announced that we shouldn't press our touchscreens too vigourously, or the system would hang and they wouldn't be able to fix it enroute.
Then they discovered the systems of most passengers weren't working anyway.
Then they said they were rebooting it. And then they announced that alas, it was unlikely to work. And by the way, reading lights worked on the same system so those were unlikely to work too. When the husband's reading light came on a while later, we discovered it was because the guy two rows behind had switched on his.
To make matters worse, the purser kept a running commentary of bad jokes. The husband laughed at all of them. I consoled myself by complaining to the Malaysian gent in the next seat.
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The Husband Interrupts: Hey, the purser was funny. Everyone, except the wife and her Malaysian ally, laughed. Here's a sampling: "There is no smoking anywhere on board. I regret to say that if you are caught smoking, we will throw you out." That caught everyone's attention. He probably knew it would, so he paused and continued: "As in, we will throw over overboard -- without a parachute. And you won't get frequent flyer miles." Later on, when the entertainment-system muddle was riling passengers, he apologised and said, "We are, however, asking for passengers with talent, anyone who can sing or dance will be considered." I enjoyed, boss. Back to the wife.
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When I asked for a feedback from, they said they would check. Two hours later, I asked again and another flight attendent gave me a long explanation about how they seemed to have misplaced the forms. When the purser came around with some compensation cards, I asked him (politely) for a feedback form again. He apologized, said he had forgotten and wrote down my seat number to remind himself. Six hours later he came back with a form that said log on to the website and send your comments. "They changed the system because the crew used to open the forms," he explained. I rest my case.
So now, in addition to shutting down my ICICI account when I get back to Mumbai, I'm going to steer clear of all Air Canada flights. Except the next one to Los Angeles alas.
Incidentally, even Air New Zealand has video on demand.
The husband again: Anyway, video-on-demand or not, we finally got to Vancouver, gliding in over snow-clad peaks and a bright, white bank of clouds. It's rainy and chilly in Vancouver (about 14 deg C during the day, about 8 deg C at night), but it's clear the desi influence is strong. As we waited to clear immigration, lots of signs were in Punjabi -- also Korean and Japanese -- indicating just how muliticutural this city is. Later in the day, as we struggled to keep awake, we were in the India section of Vancouver, even the street signs were in Punjabi and lots of ramrod-straight, old Sikh gentlemen shared bus stops with old Chinese women. On the streets, you can buy anything from garam masala to that great Indian invention, the nightie.