OneWayTicket

Day 83: A wild introduction to the other South Africa

I don't know what we were expecting but it certainly wasn't an Afrikaner with a Tom Selleck moustache, a blond ponytail and a tatoo high on his left thigh that doubled up as his visiting card: Master Tracker it read, like the pieces on a scrabble board, one word vertical, one horozontal with the "a" common to both and the face of a tiger thrown in for good measure.

My eyes were drawn magnetically to Willem Peterson's damsel white thighs every time I sat up front with him in the van that would be our home for the next four days as we scoured Kruger National Park for the Big Five and all the small creatures that are, often, more fascinating. I couldn't help but notice how his light khaki short shorts rode up dangerously when he sat behind the wheel.

He said he was a few years older than the husband, but he looked at least a decade older. We figured out why in the first conversation as the inappropriately dressed Willem drove out of Joberg after declaring that it was cold. By the time he was 17 he was a policeman in Soweto's riot police unit 2. After my recent history trip through Soweto, I knew exactly what that meant. He was on the side that had to crush all rebellion. Stop the car, I wanted to yell but I could see the husband thought this would be a fascinating view of the other South Africa.

I wanted to know how he had justified Apartheid. "We were brought up to think it's the right way, the only way. Even in church they taught us that," he said. Besides, he added later in the conversation, "they were given a chance to chose you know. They could have governed themselves." He was even a tracker during the infamous Bush Wars. I nearly asked him how many people he had killed but I never did. 

Instead, I asked what it was like in those days and he actually thought I was asking about him. He said his job was relatively safe -- after all his side was backed by tear gas, live ammo and armoured vehicles. Back then, private factory owners could call on Willem's unit to "control" their striking workers. And sanctions? Ah there were so many neat ways to avoid them. The steel firm that Willem's father worked for, for instance, would export to Israel and then onward to other nations.

As we drove out of Jo'berg, the maize fields on either side of the highway triggered a change in conversation. Soon, Willem was telling us about the amazing Pap Tart his sister makes with layer after layer of cheese and pap topped with mushrooms. Surreal is the descriptor that has come to mind most often this holiday.

South Africa's Kruger National Park is the size of Wales; a diverse expanse of all kinds of landscapes from rolling granite plains to densely wooded riverines that stretches into Mozambique and Zambia. Most imporantly, it's home to some 150 mammal species. 

This park is very different from, say, the Masai Mara experience. For one, there are several well-appointed camps within the park run super efficiently by the South African National Parks. Smooth tar roads connect these camps and often, our best animal sightings were on these main roads where you can even spot park officials stop vehicles to hand over a speeding ticket! Some might say it's too commercialized, but we thought it was brilliant and we plan to take the parents back next year.

Even the animals have learned to take advantage of this urbanized atmosphere. So predators often drive their prey to the tar roads where they know their hooves will slip; one lion pride up north has mastered the art of chasing its prey against the electric fences that surround the park.

It's confusing to figure out which camp you should begin from, so we didn't book until two days before. Since it was school holiday time, all the camps in Kruger were full and we ended up staying just outside the park. Over the next few days Willem told us his favourite camps were Lower Sabie, Olifants, Satara and Shingwedzi and I would go with these recommendations if you ever decide to go to Kruger.

Willem was in ecstacy as we drove towards Kruger through the foothills of the Drakensberg range and past picture perfect getaways with names like Misty Mountain Chalets and Hops Hollow Brewery. He was full of stories about early settlers, mining, the Boers and what was once the Transvaal Republic. His South Africa, in other words.

And then the day got wilder.

We were nearly there, driving towards Numbi Gate, from where we planned to enter the Park, when Willem suddenly started behaving oddly at the wheel. He said he's feeling dizzy, and that it must be the pie he ate for lunch. He stopped, rested his head against the wheel, then got out of the vehicle, walked about. The husband jumped out too, to see if he was okay. Then Willem got in again, started the car, said he's perfect, asked the husband to jump back in and then promptly collapsed against the wheel...

The car started moving ahead, I can't drive, and Samar was still on the road, struggling to hit the brake through Willem's open door. Ohmygod have my evil thoughts killed him? is what I'm thinking as the husband finally managed to hit the brake. Now we're stopped in the middle of the road with our guide unconscious on his steering wheel. Just as we were thinking the worst he revived, couldn't recognize us and then slowly came to his senses. 

"I'm fine now, let's go," he announced.

Samar and me were aghast. Finally, Samar took the wheel and Willem insisted we continue to drive towards the park. We're not that desperate to see animals, we said but he eventually got his way and that's how we entered Kruger.

Those first couple of hours in Kruger are really a blur as we spent most of the time looking at him, rather than for any animals. We saw some lion dung, impalas, a herd of hippos on the far side of a watering hole and our first Glossy Starling, a shiny indigo blue bird with an orange eye that we later learned was Kruger's crow. We caught up with and drove through a baboon herd walking on the road in front of us; there were drongos, hornbills, a Brown Hooded Kingfisher eating an insect, the stunning Kuru -- an antelope that is the emblem of the South Africa Parks. All we wanted was to take Willem to a doctor and, a couple of hours later, we finally got our way.

The doctor said it was probably the pie, and gave our guide a bagful of medicines.

Finally we checked in to our hotel, showered and had a brilliant meal with a bottle of South African wine. Willem seemed fine and couldn't understand what had happened to him. We may not have seen the Big Five yet, but Day One at Kruger was wild enough for us.